April 2012
1 post
1 tag
Nice Face
The Darkest Hour
June 2011
3 posts
8 tags
The P-Ness Inserts Itself Into the Mega Python vs....
What happens when giant pythons get loose in the Everglades? You give the local alligators steroids so they grow big enough to kill them. Duh! Welcome to another low-budget Syfy production, where the only thing worse than the effects are the story and performances. This time they cast former teen pop stars Tiffany and Debbie…pardon us, Deborah Gibson…as rivals. Tiffany plays a park...
5 tags
Stephen Baldwin's Dumb Face in Posse
Mario Van Peebles’ Posse, an ode to Sergio Leone’s spaghetti westerns and African American cowboys, is often overlooked and forgotten. And for good reason. It’s horrible. At one point the “posse” comes across a stream and decides to go skinny dipping. Baldwin’s gaping grin happens to be the least awkward part of the entire scene.
5 tags
Sean Connery's Awesome Face In The Man Who Would...
The Man Who Would Be King [Blu-ray Book](1975)
April 2011
4 posts
6 tags
The P-Ness Takes A Dip With Dinoshark
It’s a shark. It’s a dinosaur. It’s both! Frozen in the ice for over 150 million years, Dinoshark lays in wait. Well, his time is now! Yet another hybrid-animal Syfy creation, just like our good buddy Sharktopus, this goofy low-budget Roger Corman production starring Eric Balfour (Skyline) offers exactly what you expect: horrible acting, embarrassing effects, and a decent time for schlock-loving...
15 tags
Weekly Blu-ray Round Up (4/12/11): Harry Potter,...
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1 [Blu-ray + DVD + Digital Copy] Studio: Warner Whether you’re a fan of the Harry Potter books or never even read a single page of J.K. Rowling’s wizards-coming-of-age novels, the film series has always been a consistent and exciting experience. Much of the credit can be given to the casting director, who’s had access to almost every living British...
8 tags
The P-ness Pays Tribute To The Greatest Film Ever:...
Sidney Lumet died April 9, 2011! Sidney Lumet was one of the greatest film directors of all time, churning out classics like 12 Angry Men, Dog Day Afternoon, and The Verdict. His greatest film was Network, written by Paddy Chayefsky and starring Faye Dunaway, William Holden, Peter Finch, and Robert Duvall. Network was released in 1976 and was a satire about the destructive nature of television and...
25 tags
Weekly Blu-ray Roundup (4/5/11)
Tron: Legacy / Tron: The Original Classic [Five-Disc Combo: Blu-ray 3D / Blu-ray / DVD / Digital Copy] (Disney)
Let’s be realistic: The original Tron was an experimental, somewhat-goofy cult film whose legend has grown out of proportion. Tron Legacy is a muddled mess, with some decent effects that quickly grow tiresome. As a two-minute teaser, it’s eye-blasting. As a feature film, it’s spirit...
March 2011
3 posts
5 tags
Spend 48 Hrs. With The P-ness
We ain’t partners, we ain’t brothers, and we ain’t friends. The P-ness is puttin’ you down and keepin’ you down until you enjoy each and every one of these screenshots. And if you don’t like 48 Hrs. then you’re gonna be sorry you ever met the P-ness!
There’s Jack. A crusty but benign detective in San Francisco. All he wants are his cigarettes,...
6 tags
The P-ness Goes Carlito's Way
There’s a lot to love about this Brian De Palma 1993 gangsta flick about a Puerto Rican gangster recently released from jail and trying to start a new life. Every time the dude thinks he out, they keep pulling him back in!
Al Pacino is in vintage Pacino screamy mode and his accent is a hilarious mix of Tony Montana and Lt. Colonel Frank Slade (Scent of A Woman). The only other accent...
4 tags
The Pness Bites Into Sharktopus!
It’s a shark! It’s an octopus! It’s both! It’s Sharktopus!!! (Now I’ve done it, I’ve run out of exclamation points. No I haven’t!!!!!!!!!!!!)
It’s a special day in this world when a hybrid-animal from the minds of Roger Corman and Syfy release a Blu-ray with this much awesomeness. The acting is horrible, the script is worse, and the CGI is worstest,...
February 2011
2 posts
5 tags
Never Let Me Go, Says The Pness
A little birdy told me this was a good movie. That birdy was only half-right. Looks great, mergh execution.
It’s got Andrew Garfield with 2 different hair styles. One.
Two
Carey Mulligan with 2 different hair styles. One.
Two.
And Kiera Knightley peering through windows.
This personifies each character. Carey is skittish, Kiera hopeful, and Andrew confused. Let’s...
2 tags
Natural Born Kills The Pness
The key lime gets its day in court. Fingered. “My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.” Your real name is Balthazar. That’s so kooky. <slice> Be honest, how screwy is my face? How about now? Maybe if we weren’t always covered in this green light we’d be more civil. Exit interview Simply devilish! Crikey! Tommy Lee preps from his role...
December 2010
2 posts
4 tags
Rambo: First Blood Part II Gets To Win This Time
Now that’s what I call a close shave. OH GOOD GLAYVEN!
Time to exfoliate…
Some bad guys!
Is there something on my face?
Bow to me.
I don’t get it. The bow gibe, that is.
What a dummy. Again, Blu-ray ruins a perfectly good gag.
Assplode time.
Sup, Rich. Off to go break some stuff and scream a lot. Lates!
YAAAAAAAAA…and so forth.
Now...
7 tags
Get A Piece of The Rock
I want the good leads. Or else I’m nuking San Fran. Over and out.
Rough terrain.
Oh hai! Soarie 4 teh meerurur.
The feel of a shooot.
I think Michael Biehn is in this photo. But where?
Can someone get this rat’s nest off my head? PLEASE!
Sorry, Nic. It can’t be done.
Green balls of death.
If he’s so tough, why’s he need a safety wire?...
November 2010
2 posts
12 tags
Best Westerns: Tombstone Blu-ray
The Tombstoners reflecting
Billy Paxton all ‘stached up.
Michael Biehn lookin’ crazy.
“You tell ‘em I’m comin’…and picture perfect clarity is comin’ with me!”
“I’ve got the Powers!”
Sam’s epic ‘stache
Sweaty Val
Sweatier Val
Off into the sunset. Bye, Tombstone!
